I got a notice of default and the bank is asking for 14K in arrears in 10 days

It depends where your case is in the process.  If a sale is going to be set, bankruptcy is your likely answer.  A motion to vacate the default is hard to win.  If the default is just in a payment and no case has started, then call the bank and make a payment plan.

You may have defenses to the foreclosure - it's impossible to tell without more information - and most counties in NY require court conferences to see if a settlement can be reached with the bank. Whatever you do, don't ignore the notices. Contact the bank and keep  a record of all of your communications. And hire a lawyer.