does an employer have to give you 401k benefits if it is stated in their handbook they do after 1 year of continuous service?

Generally speaking, benefits under a so-called "qualified" retirement plan must be offered on a non-discriminatory basis. You should discuss the reasons for your non-participation with your employer. If you are dissatisfied with the answers, you may wish to discuss the matter further with an employment attorney. You will need to bring a copy of the relevant documents to your consultation.