if you have checking account with someone can they come back on you and say you were stealing and want to press charges?

The answer is "it depends." I assume you are inquiring about a so-called "joint" account where the account is owned in the names of two parties. Under applicable principles of banking law, each party has the right to withdraw all of the contents of the account. Thus, although the account is styled as a "joint" account, the parties have the right to act severally. For this reason, the bank acts properly when it honors a withdrawal request by either depositor. However, the joint depositors are free to agree between (or among) themselves that withdrawals will only be made in a certain manner, in certain amounts, or for certain purposes. When one party violates such an agreement, it is a simple breach of contract for which the offending party may be liable in damages. Under some circumstances, it might be a crime, but the facts that you suggest do not enable the inference of any crime. People threaten things all the time. Check with an attorney before believing anything. This is not legal advice.