Is an employer in California required to tell u if and when they have considered you on family leave?

This is a difficult fact pattern. As a general matter, an employer is free to fire any employee at any time for any reason, including failure to report to work due to illness. In other words, unless the employer has a sick-leave policy (which it must follow), it does not need to offer paid time off or even unpaid leave, except to the extent provided by FMLA. Generally speaking, if an employee wants the benefits of FMLA, the employee is expected to request leave and prove that the nature of the illness qualifies for FMLA unpaid leave. FMLA merely entitles you to resume your job if you have been out for no longer than the FMLA maximum; otherwise, you can be terminated immediately. It sounds as if your employer assumed you were on FMLA leave, which is favorable to you. I don't see how you have suffered any legally recognized harm. If you had not been treated as being on FMLA leave, you could have been fired much earlier.