Can I write the judge and tell her what's really going on?

I am a defendant in a Civil Tort lawsuit. The reason is defamation. I have had two stalking orders on this person and now they are expired. I want it reinstated but keep getting the run around from my attorney. I don't feel safe and this crazy person has paid others to harm my pets and damage my property. I'm told I have to catch him in the act. I have spent too much money and time with attorneys, etc. I don't feel like I am being fairly represented and the lawsuit is nothing more than a legal way to continue to harass me (former stalking order on plaintiff.) I live in fear and it seems that no one is very concerned. Shouldn't my current attorney be advocating for my safety? How do I handle this?