do I need an attorney for simple assault charge in NJ and can I get the charges dropped?

I was a victim of domestic violence. My attacker has untreated/undiagnosed psychological problems. She has hit me before, has a pattern of false alarms where she calls the police for attention and to intimidate the other family members. I called the police to file a complaint against her when she assaulted me following a verbal disagreement. She lied to the police, filed a false complaint against me in retaliation, so we now both have the same simple assault charges. The police told me it was just procedure and that they wanted to let the court sort out it. Can I do anything to prepare for this or get the charges dropped before I have to appear? Do I need an attorney or do I need to get a public defender before my first appearance? and is it possible to ask the judge or prosecutor for mediation and involuntary commitment for my attacker to get treatment in lieu of other sentences? and lastly, is this common? Thank you for your help.