How can I make myself clearer in defending myself in the court?

You would need to look at the wording of the statute that contains the crime with which you were charged. The statute will lay out the elements of the crime, and relevant court opinions may further clarify these elements and apply them to fact patterns that are similar to yours. This is something that an attorney is trained to do, so it will require you to do some research and there may be a learning curve for you if you attempt to represent yourself pro se. Unless you have already attended an initial hearing, you will not have a chance to defend yourself or put forth any sort of reasoning for your actions at this first hearing. The initial hearing is usually just for you to meet with the prosecutor and determine if any plea deals are on the table, and for you to announce to the court whether you are pleading innocent or guilty. If you plead innocent, then a trial date will be set. Prior to a trial, there could be various hearings, motions, discovery, etc. Again, if you are not familiar with any of this, then it will require research on your part to learn how to properly handle these issues and not detrimentally affect your chances at winning the case. It would be best if you retained an attorney as soon as possible. At least one of the statements you've made in this post could already be detrimental to your case if the prosecution were to find this post and reasonably link it to you, so I think that you should seek representation so as to prevent further damage to your case.