How do I terminate a restraining order if I am the victim?

There are two ways that the court could have ordered that he have no contact with you, or with anyone under 16. First, it could have issued an order under chapter 209A.  In 209A cases, you, the victim, are the "petitioner" -- the person asking the court for the order.  As the petitioner, you can go back in front of the court and ask that the order be lifted.  The court does not have to lift it at your request, but the judicial guidelines instruct judges generally to do so unless there is a good reason not to. In this case, it sounds like a case where a judge would be unlikely to lift the order. The second way a court could have ordered him to have no contact with you is as part of his sentence. You have a right to be present at sentencing and to tell the judge what you want.  Again, under the circumstances, it is likely that the court would order him to have no contact with you even if you say you want it. To answer your final question, if you were to try to contact him, and if that is all that happens, neither one of you would be punished.  He is orderd not to contact you, you have not been ordered to not contact him.  A creative lawyer can construct an argument for ways that you could be charged, and I can think of a few, but realistically, in Massachusetts, there is no common mechanism for punishing the beneficiaries of a restraining order when they act in a way that is inconsistent with the order. You will not be permitted to visit him in prison -- there are specific regulations prohibiting the prison from allowing you see him.