No. This is not a standard form. Each retirement plan administrator (like Fidelity, JP Morgan Chase, PERS, those folks) has a different form of order that it likes. If you know who the plan administrator is, you can contact them and get information on their standard form of QDRO. But even with that, this is not a fill-in-the-blanks process. You can do this, but it is massively complex and cumbersome and you are almost certainly better off getting a lawyer. Given what you have said, it looks as though your former spouse's attorney was expecting you to do something you did not. It may already be too late, but waiting longer and expecting the problem to solve itself is not going to help you.
Answered on Aug 16th, 2012 at 7:34 PM