Is it better for me to file or to have the spouse file for divorce?

No difference.

Generally, it makes no difference who files the action first, other than who pays the filing fee.

It does not matter who starts the action. The outcome is the same. However, it can be useful to be the moving party to insure that the case moves forward towards completion.

Generally speaking here in Arizona whether or not you file the petition or are the respondent to the petition should not make any difference with respect to the division of community assets, or the question of spousal maintenance (alimony).

It make absolutely no difference who files the summons and petition.

It doesn't matter in California who files. The laws apply the same, regardless of who files.

It won't give you a better outcome regarding alimony, but it does allow you to be in more control of the court case (i.e. schedules, court dates, etc). We can represent you as the Petition or Respondent, but if you are able to file now, and you are ready to be divorced, I'd suggest you do so.

This is a good question, and a common one. In Kansas, it can make a difference who files for divorce, but the reasons may be different than you expect. In theory, who files first should make no difference when it comes to most issues like overall division of property, or calculating spousal maintenance. However, there are some nuances that an experienced family lawyer will try to anticipate. For example, you asked about asset retention. If a person files first, and requests temporary orders granting exclusive possession of the house, the fact that such person has been in the house during the pendency of the divorce may have some bearing on the eventual disposition of the property. The primary reason to consider filing first is the ability to obtain ex parte temporary orders. Such orders are obtained without a hearing, and they may affect child custody, child support and sometimes debt payment. Consult an experienced family law attorney to discuss whether it may be beneficial for you to file first.

Generally it make no difference who files except as to the entry of ex-parte temporary orders.

It doesn't matter who files first. There is no "blame" in California family law so each side has rights and duties and it doesn't matter who is called Petitioner or Respondent.