payment of 50% of husbands pension was not paid to me

Based on the limited information that you are provided, your ex husband's answer makes no sense.  I am not sure what you mean when you say that you cannot get "any correct answer."  If you have not already done so, I think that you need to meet with a very experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer as soon as possible.   I offer what is called an Assessment, in which I will go over your situation in detail, answer your questions, and give you guidance as to the best course of action. Typically, the Assessment lasts about an hour.  The cost is $425. Your question does not specify the town in which you live.  My firm's offices are located in Morristown, NJ (Morris County).  We handle cases in all of the counties in northern and central New Jersey, including not only Morris County but also Somerset, Hunterdon, Sussex, Warren, Passaic, Bergen, Hudson, Middlesex and Monmouth counties. If you wish to schedule an Assessment, please call my office (973-455-1220) and speak to the firm’s Client Intake Coordinator Dara Vanderhoof, who can arrange a mutually convenient date and time.