We would need more information to assist you in your options as for grounds for legal divorce. You need to speak with an attorney to discuss more details.
You do not need to show either one of these things. All you have to do is claim that your marriage is over, and nothing can be done to save it. We have no fault divorce in California. You have a right to a divorce.
First things first: consult an experienced divorce lawyer in your area. In Wisconsin, the only state in which I practice, adultery and abuse have just about nothing to do with grounds for divorce. Here, the ground for divorce is that the marriage is irretrievable broken. It's far more civilized. But this or something similar is the rule in almost all states. Talk to a good lawyer.
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