When is it advisable to use the grounds of cruel and inhumane treatment vs. irreconcilable differences

After a 30 year marriage I became temporarily sick and was unable to have sex with my husbegand for a few months. Heforced sex upon me and after a number of occurances of hurting me, I informed him that I would press charges of rape. He did stop the foreceug sex, but verbal and emotional abuse excaled. He then moved from the martial residence as per my request. He then filed for divorce under no fault,. Should I counter these grounds with the factual grounsd of abuse and neglect. During this divorce process his abuse escalated to signifiacant emotional cruely as well as assualt for which he was arrested and may be prosectuted for. Currently the DA has offered him a plea of a pemanent full stay full stay away order as well as :"Disorderly Conduct". He is due back in criminal court to either accept or reject this plea. d