Why does it cost so much to get a divorce in New Jersey? I have paid my attorney off this year in full. I paid a retainer and paid as proceedings progressed and still owed at the end. We settled out of court and it cost close to $30,000 for a divorce and our civil ceremony only cost $28.

Why is it expensive?  Because attorneys had to get involved.  If you had been able to decide on your own how to get divorced, in the same manner that you decided on your own to get married, then the cost would not have been so high.  That's why mediation and collaborative divorce can be so much less expensive.