is it legal for a long term facility to let an elder rack up a bill and then expect them to give all of their social security each month?

No one can be discharged while a Medicaid application is pending.  Medicaid pays for up to three months' of nursing home care which occurred prior to the date of the application.  While someone is in a nursing home receiving Medicaid, they are allowed a $60/month personal needs allowance.  All their other income, including Social Security, goes to pay the nursing home with their fellow taxpayers picking up the rest:  Medicaid comes out of the general tax revenues. If your friend's mother returned home, either (1) she no longer needed a nursing home level of care or (2) she transitioned to Star Plus, a Medicaid waiver program providing 30-50 hours/week of homemaker and home health care.  The personal needs allowance for Star Plus is $2,382/month (2021).  This may well mean that she can keep all her Social Security retirement benefit, using it to pay for ordinary living expenses. If the son is disabled, he should apply for Social Security benefits.  Supplemental Security Income is $794/month (2021) less a 1/3rd deduction for food and shelter provided by someone else.  If he has medical evidence proving that he was disabled before age 22, he should apply for Childhood Disabiity Benefits based on his mother's work record.  Because she is now disabled, these will be the equivalent of half of her Social Security retirement benefits (topped up to $794/month if that would be less).  When she dies, these will be the equivalent of 75% of her Social Security retirement benefits. However, if the son was "never made to work his whole life" but is able to work, it is high time that he did so.  The world does not owe him a living.  His fellow taxpayers have no obligation to pay 100% of his mother's nursing home bill so that he can continue to live off her Social Security. Please note that if your friend's mother was in the hospital for at least three days before her nursing home stay, Medicare paid for the first 20 days without copay.  If she had been able to meet the copay, it would have paid for more.  Apparently she was not.  That is why application was made to Medicaid.