If I put these tapes up on you tube first of myself speaking my own words, do I beat them to it and establish ownership correct?

You need to talk to a lawyer about this as soon as possible. There are many questions that will be asked. Do you have a contract with these friends? Where are they getting your words and concepts? Are they using your name? Did you ever write or record your ideas? To gain copyright on your words or ideas, all you need to do is set them into tangible form. You can simply put your words and ideas into writing or make a recording. You can then register copyright online on the U.S. Copyright website which costs thirty five dollars. Putting it onto YouTube would publish it and you don't want to do that until after you register copyright. All of this may or may not keep the friends from publishing a book, too. You need to speak with a lawyer immediately.