can i exclude my future husband from my will as I own my house in NJ and it is in my name only and my 2 children from my previous husband. I want to l

You can exclude your future husband from your estate by doing a combination of a prenuptial agreement and a marital share waiver.  In the State of New Jersey you cannot disinherit your spouse, so if you just leave him out the will, he can claim his marital share which is one third of the augmented estate.  He cannot make that claim, however, if he has signed a waiver of that share. You can also use a prenuptial to agree that neither of you will take from the other's estate.  What you will need is his agreement or consent, and you will need to have that in writing to protect your children in the future.