How can I protect my financial assets from my drug addicted stepsons?

Question

I have worked since I was 16 years old and am a successful professional and mother of a responsible 30 year old daughter who is functioning age appropriately.  Seven years ago I married a man who has two sons.  They are 25 and 28 years old.  The sons have never held a job for more than 10 months and are both addicted to opiates.  My husband, also financially successful due to his hard work since a young age, is an enabler.  He pays for all living expenses including food, gas, and housing for the sons while they spend any money they make on drugs and cigarettes.  My husband also pays any fines, bails, car repairs, etc. that are needed.  He also does their laundry at our home.  He brings the younger (25 year old) son home to spend the weekends with us.  This son helps himself to anything in our house - and spends the days watching TV.  I am getting older and am beginning to be concerned that any financial assets that I have accumulated over my lifetime will go to my husband should I precede him in death and that he will squander it on his irresponsible sons.  Or, should both of us pass away, that our assets will be divided among the three children.  I feel that I raised my daughter to be a responsible adult and that she should benefit from any financial assets that I am able to leave her - and that she will use them responsibly.  On the other hand, I do not feel that I carry any responsibility for the lack of parenting that my stepsons received or for the continued enabling that allows them to rely on their father for every need and to remain irresponsible adults.

Gerald Bagazinski · Answer

Contact an attorney to discuss estate planning.

Dara J. Goldsmith · Answer

You should consider establishing a trust with your assets and either give your husband the ability to use certain assets for life then have then distributed to your daughter and have other asses go directly to your daughter.  I urge you to speak with an estate planning attorney about your options.  You have plenty.  This information is only intended to give general information in response to an inquiry.  It does not establish an attorney client relationship.  This response is only based upon the limited facts presented and is merely intended to assist you in determining if you should contact an attorney to provide you with legal advice.

Mark T. Peters · Answer

Well, first there is the will.  It is a tried and true method to make sure your assets go where you want them to.  Of course, a lot of this depends on how much you have in assets and whether any of them or your sole and separate property or are they all community property.  To the extent that you have separate retirement accounts or life insurance, you can always name your daughter as the beneficiary.  Since there are so many issues, I suggest you talk with an attorney and your accountant to figure out the best way to proceed.

Ben Liu · Answer

Consult with an attorney to do a trust giving your assets to the people you want.

Kathleen Delacy · Answer

You can have a Revocable Trust drafted leaving your daughter your assets.  Anything you title in the name of your Trust will pass as you determine in the Trust.  Just make sure your assets are not joint with your husband or they will pass to him and ultimately could go to his sons.

James Oberholtzer · Answer

The best option is usually a trust and an agreement with your husband for him to waive his statutory share of your assets.  The waiver can be part of a post nuptial agreement (they are possible in Oregon but not always enforceable).

John Palley · Answer

That is a tough situation you have. I would probably suggest doing separate trusts. In your trust you could provide your husband a life interest, of some variety, to your assets. That way he could not re-direct them at his death. That is, he would have access and use but not the legal ability to give them to his kids when he dies. I would look for a certified specialist in estate planning law to help you out with that.

Loren Lambert · Answer

You need to either jointly create a trust or separately keep your assets separate from your husband's and create a living or testamentary trust. It sounds like you have the means to consult with an attorney, it is foolish not to do so. Especially under your circumstances.

Frances Headley · Answer

You should consult an estate planning attorney about a trust that can benefit your spouse but not his children.

Jayne Sebby · Answer

You have a couple of options:  you can leave everything to your daughter and your husband can live off his own earings & assets (and share them with his sons if he wants).  Or, if you want to leave something to your husband, you can create a trust with specific instructions that the assets will be supplied to your husband only to pay for specific things such as the mortgage/rent, health insurance, clothing, etc.  Be sure to name a trustee whom you can count on to supervise the trust according to your wishes.

Brian Haggerty · Answer

You should see an estate planning lawyer about this situation. You are right, your assets are at risk. There are a  whole variety of strategies that you should consider, and discussing them with a lawyer is the best idea.

Erven Nelson · Answer

There are a lot of things you should do.  First, you should set up a trust and appoint a trustee you can place full confidence in to administer your assets in the way you want them administered.  You should also prepare a will, living will and two powers of attorney (one for health care decisions and one for financial decisions) in case you become unable to make decisions which still alive.  You can also start to give some of your assets to your daughter  every year.

Victor Waid · Answer

You are strongly advised to seek the assistance of a estate planning lawyer to set up a trust for yourself and daughter,  specifically excluding any person you desire to exclude from receiving anything from your trust. Your husband is also advised to seek the assistance of a separate estate planning lawyer from your lawyer,  to set up an estate plan so as to  protect his estate from his sons.

Bernard H. Greenberg · Answer

Your situation, while complicated is unfortunately common. What you should do immediately is to engage an attorney specializing in estate planning. Go with your husband. If your husband won't go, then go yourself.  Second, start counseling. Go with your husband. If he won't go, go yourself.  These steps are necessary in order to learn how to create boundaries, fail-proof consequences and an estate plan that will work and not enable to the two drug addicts.

James Maguire · Answer

A properly drafted will would insure that your assets go where you want   them to go, and not to the stepsons or to their enabler.

Christine James · Answer

You must sit with an estate planning attorney and discuss your wishes. You can do a will or trust leaving your assets to your daughter but your husband will receive some of them because of the community property laws. Your husband can then turn around and leave everything to his sons. You have a difficult situation because if he is an enabler he may not see that assets need to be kept from them. Hopefully both of you can get on the same page and put together an estate plan that addresses your concerns so they don't squander the assets.

James Frederick · Answer

Too much going on here to really give you more than a start. Your stepsons would not inherit from you, absent a Will or Trust that provides for them. The best thing that either you or your husband can do is to get your estate planning done. There are options for you, but you need an estate planning attorney to help you set things up properly. It strikes me that a trust for each of you might be a good option. But more facts are needed to be sure.

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How can I protect my financial assets from my drug addicted stepsons?

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