As legal spouse, what can I do if my husband needs help and is out of control?

You do not identify what the nature of the problem is. If this is in the nature of domestic violence, you need to reach out to the resources in your area for assistance, including safety planning and emergency shelter. If this is substance abuse, you can use those same resources for safety. A protective order may be necessary to keep the peace and buy both of you some time for reflection. However, ultimately, you need your own therapy to understand yourself. You cannot change another adult. You cannot control another adult. Your spouse's problems certainly affect you, but you cannot "fix" them unless and until your spouse recognizes them and wants to fix them. So will you enable your spouse's conduct by continuing to allow him to avoid the consequences of it? Sometimes people won't get help until they have hit the bottom . . . and that may require an arrest, a divorce proceeding, and/or other legal matters. You can at least separate, without doing anything in the legal system, to give yourself some space.