at my very expspensive consult, mylawyer suggested that after my first chikd is no loner eligilble for child support, I should ask to up my alimony to

Your question is pretty vague -- there are not nearly enough facts to give any kind of reasoned analysis on a topic as subjective as alimony.  However, a couple points to consider: First, you can generally NOT go back to court to increase alimony sums merely because children age out; if not negotiated for in the original divorce, you are probably stuck with whatever you did negotiate, although alimony may (usually) be modified, technically, based on "changed circumstances." You really want to do this right in the original divorce.  In addition to obvious pension questions (for example, a firefighter has PERS retirement, which you should be sure you are properly addressing, regarding payment-upon-eligibility, survivorship options, and otherwise), you should make sure whoever is representing you knows how to do a comprehensive alimony analysis.  See "An Alimony Manifesto" and other references at http://willicklawgroup.com/spousal-supportalimony/.  If you have not yet obtained sufficient advice and information, keep looking.