at what age according to Virginia state law can a child speak for themselves

The county where the order is entered retains jurisdiction, unless the courts decide to move it. Children of any age can potentially speak with the judge about their preference, if they are mature enough, but it is very unusual for a child under 7.  It is never up to the child - even teenagers - to make the decision of which parent they want to live with, although their opinion will be given more weight the older they are.  It is still just one of many factors the court can consider, pursuant to Virginia Code Section 20-124.3. This answer is given in accordance with the laws of Virginia and may not be applicable in any other state.  It should not be construed as legal advice, as that would require a more thorough analysis of all of the facts involved in a specific case.  If you need further information or assistance, please feel free to contact my office for a consultation. Case results depend upon a variety of factors unique to each case. Case results do not guarantee or predict a similar result in any future case.