Can a 15 year old have a say in her parenting plan?

Are you represented by a very experienced lawyer who devotes his/her ENTIRE practice to New Jersey Family Law matters?  If not, you should be, given what you are saying and what is at stake here.  I understand and appreciate the fact that you do not want to expose your daughter to the "system."  However, if there is a Court Order in place for parenting time which is not being followed, and the father refuses to attend family therapy, you don't have much of a choice as a responsible mother--especially given what you say is your daughter's "consistent discomfort at his house." The "legal" answer to your question is that, pursuant to NJ Court Rule 5:5-6, you can ask the Judge to conduct an interview of your daughter "in camera" (which means outside the presence of the parents).  The Judge can also ORDER family therapy, and if the father refuses to attend, it may very well result in a reduction of his parenting time with your daughter.  I head a law firm that devotes its practice exclusively to New Jersey Family Law matters.  It's all we do. Please feel free to take a look at our Firm Website (www.salvaggiolaw.net), which contains a lot of helpful information. I would be happy to have a brief telephone call with you, to get more information.  There is no charge for that phone call.  Please call 973-455-1220. David F. Salvaggio, Esq.