Can a 17 year old make a choice of which parent to live with?

I (mom) have residential custody of my son. He is an 11th grader at a vocational school. After school, he goes to his father’s house and then comes to my place around 9. Son is out of control, constantly swearing and I can’t discipline him. There are no rules, punishments or respect at his dad’s dad and son swear back to each other. It is a free for all. When he comes to my place, it is horrible since I have rules. Since the beginning of school, I had to push for my son to get into the vocational school and had meetings with him. His teachers are trying to keep him on track with school work. I am only and trying to get him to graduate. First half went fine. I had to stay on him. He is a C - D student. Well he is he is flunking. Long story short, his father is taking me to court for custody saying my son is mentally stressed because of me, and the he (dad) has a better environment. Son was talked to about responsibilities (son has none). Dad has never gone to any school meetings or open houses, but he can him off of school. We (son & I) have worked too hard for him to drop out of school. But it is all fun and games at dad’s. Dad barely graduated himself. Son was in a MVA with 3 others under age, car totaled father never called me. I found son drunk at a bar when it was his father’s weekend. Dad is using my divorce attorney. We have been divorced for 3 years. Is that allowed? Would a judge listen to the son? He would love to be at his dad’s but if he does he will definitely flunk. Can my divorce attorney help him? The attorney has done work for him after we were. A 17 years old, he does not know what is best for them. Any good advice?