Can a non-custodial parent take our kids out of state for vacation against my wishes?

Having practiced divorce & family law in New Jersey (exclusively) for the past 34 years affords me the luxury of being blunt and direct with you in response to your inquiry. Based on the limited information provided, it sounds as if the issue is simply your unhappiness with him wanting to take the children away on a vacation as opposed to any legitimate health issue. Being brutally honest, it sounds as if you are concerned that the children are going to have fun and want to spend more time with him "and his new family" and you are afraid.  It’s understandable but your role as the primary custodial parent is to help the children have a healthy and happy childhood and the more actively their father is in their lives and the more willing he is to be involved, presumably it will be to their benefit. You may need to bite your lip thinking of the million times that you had to remind him of events in the children’s lives or even beg him to attend but your glory is seeing your children blossom into healthy adults with healthy relationships. Never an easy task. I am sure that you will miss them and hope that they have a great time and the best thing for you to do, is to tell them to have fun, behave, be respectful and that when they get back, they can tell you all about their trip. The worst thing you can do is cry when they are leaving, call them while away looking for them to spill dirt on their father and engage in actions to make it clear that you did not want them to go away. If so, when they get back, they will be panicked thinking that you are going to grill them on everything bad about the trip or grill them seeking info to use against their father. Don’t. Tell them that you love them and that you want them to have fun. As far as the arrears, they also are not relevant from a courts perspective as to whether he is entitled to parenting time or vacation time with the children. They are 2 separate issues and the failure to be current in his support obligation will not preclude him from being with the children. If anything, making it easier for him to see and be with the children will probably help in getting him to assist in paying for other expenses for the children over time. My experience is that the tighter you control those reins on when he can see or be with the children, the more likely he will be resistant to help out with the payment of extra curriculars, etc. Your ex may be a guy who is cheap and will not give you an extra penny for the children no matter what you do to accommodate him but remember that the real reason for your actions is to help your children have as normal a relationship with both parents as possible, even if he is a jerk.