Can husband of 48 yrs keep giving thousands monthly to ex-daughter-in-law. He has a secret account to write her checks. I have no relationship with th

Unless there is a crime involved, people can do with their money as the see fit.  An exception occurs in divorce proceedings where the issue of dissipation can be raised.  What you are describing could constitute dissipation, but there are a number of legal hurdles that must be cleared.  If the conduct is truly improper and the marital estate has been wrongfully depleted (through dissipation of assets), a disproportionate distribution of the remaining assets can be made to make up for this loss to the aggrieved spouse. The key is for you to secure quality legal advise and, should you elect to pursue a divorce, legal representation.  Should a mortgage be secured against your home, that would be additional debt against an asset with much less cash value than before.  This could impact your continued ability to live in the house, to service the debt upon it and to receive appropriate compensation for any prior dissipation that may be proven.  As, such, an appointment should be set with an attorney sooner rather than later. It may be possible to obtain a court order that precludes him from finalizing any refinancing.  He may also be precluded from making distributions from other assets to the ex-daughter in law.  A well presented argument to the Judge may provide you the interim relief you need while positioning you to address your long term needs through the finalization of a divorce. These are again matters to discuss with prospective counsel. Should you not know where to look, the internet is a good start.  Also, most counties have bar associations that maintain referral programs to local attorneys.