QUESTION
Can I get full custody being a stay at home mom?
Asked on Oct 02nd, 2011 on Child Custody - Ohio
More details to this question:
Can I get full custody being a stay at home mom? I have four kids, three of my own. The other is my fiance's, whom I take care of full time too. I've been divorced for four years and our agreement was shared custody. The reason why I want full custody is because I feel he's not doing what's best for our 7 year old daughter. He takes her to trailer courts known for drug activity, he drinks heavily has had a DWI or DUI. He has also been in jail twice since we divorced one for the DUI and the other for Battery. Also either his mom or my aunt and his brother have her for most of the time. Her clothes are too small and her hygiene is bad. I'm at a loss here. I want her to be around her father, but I don't like his choices. Our agreement was that he was to have her for a week due to his work schedule. He later got laid off and then six months later got back on for a drilling rig. So now he has her for two weeks. During the time he was laid off, he lost our home and went down hill, drinking, smoking pot, taking pills. There were often times I would make random checks to see my baby and the house reeked of pot so I took her home with me. As of right now my ex husband and I get along, but it's the lifestyle that worries me. I want what's best for her, and I'm really scared she might turn to drugs in the near future. Do I have a chance of getting full custody being a stay at home mom? My soon to be husband also works, and has been taking care of all the finances for the past three years. The reason why I don't have a job is because the work here is all minimum wage and it's not enough pay to pay daycare sad to say.
7 ANSWERS
Family Law Attorney serving Pasadena, CA
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Law Offices of Paul P. Cheng
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Yes, you have a chance.
Answered on Jun 03rd, 2013 at 1:50 AM
Yes, sounds like you have plenty of reasons why it is in her best interest to be with your primarily. You need to file a motion requesting this and stating the concerns.
Answered on Oct 06th, 2011 at 10:53 PM
It is possible to get sole custody of the children or you may simply need to modify the current order in which you have the living arrangements to allow the children the live with you full time and only have visitation (weekend) with the father and explain to the court why you wish to do so.
Answered on Oct 05th, 2011 at 4:14 PM
Custody is granted on the basis of the "best interests of the children." In making that determination, the court will certainly consider drug use, drinking, chaotic life style, and all other relevant facts that you show the court. The fact that you are a stay at home mom does not by itself disqualify you if it is in the best interests of the children to be with you rather than with their father. His criminal record is also cosidered by the court and it may even disqualify him, especially if the battery you mention was domestic violence. Also, if other family members (mother, brother and aunt) actually care for the child, that too is taken in consideration, because custody/visitation was not given to them. You say that you were divorced, so I assume that the custody arrangement is set out in the divorce decree. You need to ask a court to modify that decree and change custody/visitation. It may be appropriate that the father will only have supervised visitation. Of course, if you can talk to him and get him to agree, it will be much easier, and I have seen that happen when the troubled parent is approached at the right moment and in the right way and recognizes what is best for the child.
Answered on Oct 05th, 2011 at 3:55 PM
Mediation Attorney serving Bloomfield, NJ
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Cassandra T. Savoy, PC
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Yes. The standard is always, "the best interest of the child". The court will not likely approve of a child being with a father who is either intoxicated or under the influence of drugs.
Answered on Oct 05th, 2011 at 2:11 PM
Family Law Attorney serving Petaluma, CA
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Law Office of Erin Farley
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Parenting is not about making money. So long as you are able to provide a safe and secure home for your children, the court does not care whether you make money or not. My advice is to get these facts in front of a mediator or judge. Your focus (and Dad's) must remain on the best interest of your children. The issues about which you have expressed concern are valid.
Answered on Oct 05th, 2011 at 2:02 PM
Cohabitation Agreements Attorney serving Cincinnati, OH
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Cathy R. Cook, Attorney at Law
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Your status as a stay at home mom has nothing to do with custody. However, to change from shared parenting to sole custody, you must show that either you and your ex cannot make decisions for the children together or that he makes bad choices for the children. The things you state are occurring could also occur if you had custody. Your shared parenting plan probably requires you to attempt mediation with him before you can go to court. You should do that. If he is unwilling to make any changes, then you need to meet with an attorney to determine whether you should seek a change in custody or changes to your shared parenting plan. These changes would be as to the time the children are with him, him not drinking when they are with him, perhaps changing the agreement so you buy all the clothes and send appropriate ones with the children (and he pays additional support for this).
Answered on Oct 05th, 2011 at 1:19 PM