QUESTION
Can I get full custody of my two kids if my wife got pregnant from another man?
Asked on Jun 28th, 2011 on Child Custody - Illinois
More details to this question:
My wife left me for another man and ended up getting pregnant by mistake while we're still married. Would this give me total say so in the courts? I don't even want to be nasty and try and take the kids away. I just want equal custody of our two kids. She can file one and I file one on our income taxes. I just want what's fair.
17 ANSWERS
The standard for determining custody is the best interest of the child.
Answered on Jul 11th, 2013 at 2:28 AM
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General Civil Trial Practice Attorney serving Beaverton, OR
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Vincent J. Bernabei, LLC
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It is possible for you to get custody. ORS 107.137 governs child custody determinations, and provides, in part: (1) In determining custody of a minor child, the court shall give primary consideration to the best interests and welfare of the child. In determining the best interests and welfare of the child, the court shall consider the following relevant factors: (a) The emotional ties between the child and other family members; (b) The interest of the parties in and attitude toward the child; ( c) The desirability of continuing an existing relationship; (d) The abuse of one parent by the other; (e) The preference for the primary caregiver of the child, if the caregiver is deemed fit by the court; and (f) The willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing relationship between the other parent and the child.
Answered on Jul 05th, 2011 at 12:52 PM
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Your wife's adultery may or may not have an influence on your case, depending on the circumstances. There is almost no situation which would give you "total say so" in the courts. If your wife has been a good mother, the adultery may have little to no impact whatsoever. On the other hand, in Louisiana equal sharing of custody of children is becoming more and more the norm rather than the exception. If you and your ex live fairly close to one another and a schedule can be worked out that has the minimal impact on the children, a 50-50 custody sharing agreement is a quite reasonable goal.
Answered on Jul 01st, 2011 at 4:59 PM
Family Law Attorney serving Everett, WA
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Burkhalter Law PLLC
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Washington is a no fault State. Typically, infidelity is not a factor.
Answered on Jul 01st, 2011 at 10:16 AM
Patricia C. Van Haren
California is a no fault state, so your wife's pregnancy with another man will not have any bearing on custody of your other two children. The courts look to what is in the best interests of the children when determining custody and visitation. It is the presumption of most courts that it is in the best interests of the children to have frequent and continuing contact with both parents.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 12:20 PM
Civil Attorney serving Spokane, WA
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Glenn E. Tanner, Attorney at Law
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In Washington the courts will order a parenting plan that is in the best interest of the kids after considering all the factors. The factor you mentioned is of little or no relevance.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 12:17 PM
In Georgia, the Court looks at a number of factors when deciding custody. Usually no one incident alone is a deciding factor, but can obviously be very helpful when all other factors are equal. Each Judge has their own criteria. You should discuss you case with an experienced divorce lawyer for more information.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 12:02 PM
William Guy Pontrello
Florida is a shared parental responsibility state. both parties have equal rights to their children. what she did does not determine her to be an unfit mother to children.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 11:41 AM
Glen Edward Ashman
The affair probably has little to do with custody. Custody and visitation is decided based on each parent's parenting ability and the interest of the child, not parental sex lives. The affair presents a big problem for you. Legally, the child she had by someone else is YOUR child. You will have to support that child for the next 18 years unless the court makes a finding that the child is not yours in the divorce. You need a VERY good lawyer. Get one ASAP.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 11:27 AM
Well, "fair" is in the eye of the beholder. Short version - her pregnancy means very little as to custody of the other children (if anything, it helps her under the statutory factor of "bonds to siblings").
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Bankruptcy Attorney serving North Olmsted, OH
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James F. Lentz Attorney & Counselor at Law
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The court will also consider the best interest of the children in determining custody. While infidelity may be a consideration, it is not dispositive of the issue. There are many other factors to consider. You need to visit a domestic relations counsel soon. The average cost to raise a child through age 18 today exceeds $200,000. You may be on the hook for a share if that if you do not address the rebutable presumption that all children born in a marriage are children of the husband.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 10:52 AM
Medical Malpractice Attorney serving Clermont, FL
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Joanna Mitchell & Associates, P.A.
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Her having an affair and getting pregnant by another man will have little to do with the custody determination. However, that child is still a child of the marriage, so you would need to file an affidavit of non-paternity. The parental responsibility and timesharing that will be established will be based on whatever arrangement is in the best interest of the children.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 10:38 AM
Family Law Attorney serving Hackensack, NJ
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The Law Offices of Stuart Jon Bierman
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The short answer is that a Judge will usually be guided by what he or thinks will be in the "best interests of the children" so even if your wife has been a poor spouse you and your lawyer would still have to convince the Judge that you would be the better custodial parent. Maybe in your situation this would not be too difficult.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 10:38 AM
Wisconsin is not a "fault" state. So it would not be used in this way. Joint custody though is typical, and then it is the placement time that needs to be worked out/negotiated. If we can assist you, see our website for our locations.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 10:22 AM
While I suppose that there are always exceptions, in general, whether your spouse is pregnant by another man should make little or no difference to how the court formulates a parenting plan for the children of your marriage. There is a list of statutory factors that the court is supposed to consider in deciding where the children are going to live the majority of the time. Some of those factors include such things as: Who has taken the greater responsibility for providing for the day to day needs of the children, who are the children more bonded to at this phase of their lives, what arrangement is going to least disrupt the lives of the children. Being pregnant by another man is not one of the factors.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 10:10 AM
Probate Law Attorney serving Colorado Springs, CO
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John E. Kirchner
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If the third child was born during your marriage, it is presumed to be your child and you will be treated as the child's father for all purposes unless the divorce court specifically declares that you are not the father. Your wife's conduct is, by and large, irrelevant to custody issues. If you and she cannot agree on an appropriate parenting plan that involves both parents in raising the children, a judge will have to decide what is in the children's best interest. That will include concerns about where the children live, how much time they spend with the other parent, who has decision making authority, etc. There will also have to be a determination of child support and, in Colo, that will include how to allocate the tax exemptions if you and your wife cannot agree. You need to consult an attorney to discuss all the relevant facts and evaluate the best course of action to take in concluding the divorce process.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 9:54 AM
It does not automatically cause her to loose custody of the children. It sounds like you are willing to share joint custody anyway. I encourage to you contact the office for a free confidential consultation. You need an attorney to represent you and protect your rights.
Answered on Jun 30th, 2011 at 9:54 AM