Can I give up parental rights after 10 years of custody battles?

I had my first born son in 2010 with a woman that I did not want to be with for long term. Ever since 2010 my life has been a constant custody battle and it has gotten really ugly. I have not seen my son since 2018. I am paying child support and I cannot see my son. My son’s mother remarried and had other children and still won’t let me see my son. I have 7 years worth of documents at all of my attempts to try and be with my son. His mom is just not making it possible due to personal deep rooted issues. I have started my own family and I have two young daughters. I cannot keep carrying this weight and trauma from my past. I want to move on and live my life without this mental abuse. Will someone please help me put an end to this nightmare I have been living for far too long now. I’ve never faced a judge with a lawyer and now I feel ready. I’ve spent far too long fighting the system. My son’s step father has been taking care of him. He can have a those rights since I’m not allowed.