Can I go take my child from the babysitter even if she told them not to give the child to me?

You can't just show up at someones house, you have to file your papers with the court first.

Without a court order saying otherwise, you have the right to pick up your child from a sitter or school, as much as the other parent does. That can change, however, once you both go into court for a custody order, and then the custodial parent might be the only one who is able to take the child from the sitter.

If there are no court orders, there is nothing that legally precludes either you or your wife from taking the child.

You may be able to ask the police to assist you. It depends on the agency.

Self help is not always looked on kindly by the court. I know one judge who says that is the quickest way to get every other weekend. You need to go to court and ask the judge to let you have custody. That is the only safe way to do it.

There is no court order giving her sole legal custody. You have a right to pick up your children. Do not make a scene or scare them. Do not fight with the sitter. Do not give your wife any excuse to get a restraining order keeping you from your kids. Get an attorney and file for your custody hearing. Document every attempt to see your children. In CA the courts want a shared parenting arrangement and very often parents get an equal timeshare. Being a man does not make you any less a parent. If drugs alcohol or abuse are involved that's another story.

You need to hire an experienced family law attorney like me. The answer to your question is yes. You have custody of your child and you are permitted to remove your child from the premises of the babysitter. If the babysitter refuses to provide you with the child, you can call the police and asked him to force the babysitter to relinquish control of the child to you. I presume that no orders of protection or any other restraining orders have been entered against you. Further, if your wife is refusing to let you see the child, you can file for an emergency order of protection against your wife. Wife would then have to bring the child to you and relinquishes control of the child.