Can I move my daughter out of state?

AS far as the temporary restraining order, please be certain to get an attorney for the final hearing.  If you represent yourself, you are required to follow the rules of court and the court will not make allowances because you are self represented.  If you can't afford an attorney, many counties have domestic violence projects that will provide the victims of domestic  violence with pro bono attorneys.  My office is in bergen county and I also go to court in Essex, Hudson and Passaic counties.  I am available if you would like to hire an attorney. Usually when one parent wants to leave the state they need the permission of the other parent.  In your situation it sounds like you cannot speak to the father about this issue.  So you will have to apply to the court for permission to leave the state.  Today, in New Jersey, the court's recognize that the parent with custody should have the flexibility to move out of state for legitimate reasons.  You have to explain your reasons to the court in a very concrete way.  This includes what school you will be attending, what kind of program or degree, for how long, job opportunities down there, where you will be living.  Your safety is important but be careful with this one because if the domestic violence complaint is dismissed then you will not have this to rely on. As part of your request include a plan for how the father will see his son, including a schedule, provide for telephone contact and maybe even video chatting.  You have to show that the father's right to have a relationship with his child is preserved.  Overall, the court is looking at your needs to move against the father's right to have a relationship with his child.  I have represented clients in these situations.  To start this, there is a formal application known as a motion that is filed with the court.  You serve the motion on the father.  He is given an opportunity to respond in writing to the motion and then you can respond to his writing.  The Judge will read all the papers and on a scheduled day you and the father (and your attorneys) will be in court in front of the judge who will have questions.  This is oral argument and you and the father are speaking to the Judge with the intention of convincing her that your position is correct.  Usually the Judge will make her decision on that same day. In my experience if the moving parent has a legitimate reason for leaving and it is possible for the remaining parent and the child to continue their relationship, then you should be permitted to leave the state. Helayne Weiss