Can I take my kids out of state and not tell their father

Short answer: "no."  Current law says that you need either written consent of the other parent or court order permitting relocation, and that not getting either could lead to adverse orders up to and including a loss of custody of the kids.  Further details are posted here. You should consider a TPO, and it is possible to request a court order that adds protections, but if he has any relationship with the kids, and has no proof of being a danger to them, the court will want to preserve that relationship.  If not, consider a termination of parental rights case, which would result in you having no obligation to reveal anything about your and the kids location -- but would also mean no future child support.  Details of all those things are posted on the same website.  You have a lot of issues to consider, and might benefit from a full consultation with a family law specialist to go over all your potential options.