can my attorney legaly meet with my abuser hes to represent me in divorce case from legaly? All behind my back and my attorney betrayed me I felt. Is

I'm sorry to hear of you being a victim of domestic violence and during or near the end of such a long marriage. I'm sure you feel betrayed to learn your attorney met with your abuser, this meeting would have been something to talk about before doing it... but if you asked him/her why they met it may clear things up and I would presume it was in an effort to be prepared to better represent your interests.  Ask them why they met without first telling you they were going to do so.