QUESTION
Can my boyfriend's wife put a restraining order on me so I can't be around their son?
Asked on Sep 20th, 2013 on Divorce - Utah
More details to this question:
Now I'm not looking for judgement just legal help if anyone has any knowledge that can help me. My boyfriend has been separated from his wife for over a year now and since they have a 4 year old son together and neither has tons of money they have has a hard time getting this divorce(dissolution) finalized because either they didn't have the money for 2 lawyers go a fair case or she refused to sign papers. Either way she is now 1 month pregnant with her "fiances" baby who she lives with and she never had a problem with me dating her husband because they see each other as ex's but when I asked her nicely this week if she could please try to finalize this divorce soon before she complicates my boyfriends life with her pregnancy she freaked out on me and started ranting about how her personal life is none of my business and now she is gonna try to get a restraining order put on me so I can't be around her son or if she can send me to jail. I haven't done anything mean or wrong or harmful to her or her son or anyone in her family. I saved all the messages she sent me and I sent her. Can she actually get a restraining order put on me or something worse without any evidence of me endangering her or her son? I'm not looking for people to tell me to leave him or that I'm a home wrecker because I'm not but she just is mad for no reason. I know if she has to she will lie about me to get her way because she did that to her husband and ended up cheating on him. Can I do anything to prevent her from doing anything besides talking to her because she doesn't reason with people she just yells and threatens people.
5 ANSWERS
William M Stoddard
The mother of the child in a dissolution action can ask that he be restricted from allowing the child to be around any person she does not know or feels can be a danger or confusing to the child. In other words, she cannot restrict you from seeing the child, but can restrict him from allowing to you see the child. This happens when parties separate, begin to form new lives, but have not resolved the earlier situation yet. The mother can think and convince the court that the reason for the dissolution is that you have taken him from her and the child. Therefore, you are an unknown factor in the child's life. Will you make it hard for the father to care for the child and such. Until you are vetted, something he can do through a guardian ad litem, it is best to let this happen without complaint. Eventually if you are going to be this man's new partner, the mother will have to get used to the fact that the child is going to see you, probably call you mom and other things that happen with children. But your question is can there be a restriction, and the answer is yes.
Answered on Sep 23rd, 2013 at 1:11 PM
Divorce & Family Law Attorney serving Salt Lake City, UT
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Utah Family Law LC
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She certainly has the right to seek a restraining order, but if you have done nothing to justify a restraining order she will not succeed. She is not entitled to get an order barring your from contact with Herson merely because she wants that to happen.
Answered on Sep 23rd, 2013 at 2:49 AM
Dispute Resolution Attorney serving Seattle, WA
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Law Offices of Helene Ellenbogen P.S.
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You can't control what she does, but in order to get a protection/anti harassment order she would have to show she was harassed. A restraining order is not possible since there is no case pending against you. She is free to do a criminal records check on you and on the basis of certain issues she could restrain your boyfriend from having the child around you. But if there is no criminal record that falls into the category of potentially harming the child, she can't do anything to restrain that contact. There is nothing you can do unless she does something more than yell at you to stay out of her business. It would have been a better choice to not get in the middle of their divorce, but that's water under the bridge. You don't say what's keeping the divorce from being finalized. Has your boyfriend set a trial date (or in King County has the court set one). If so the trial date is the final date by which the divorce will be finalized whether they come to an agreement or not. So your boyfriend needs to make sure he files the appropriate documents denying paternity of the child she's pregnant with. This will force her to name the father. If your boyfriend doesn't do that, he is the presumed father since they are still married. She has already complicated things by getting pregnant so that's the only thing that can be done. If she refuses to sign the denial of paternity, he can demand a DNA test which the court will order under the circumstances.
Answered on Sep 20th, 2013 at 4:58 PM
She can ask that her husband be restrained from having the child if you are around, but I do not know if the court would grant the request. She has had the child around her boyfriend and you have been around the child without any problems. Restraining orders in divorces usually only run between the parties to the divorce. That is why she probably cannot or would not try to get a restraining order against you, only one against her husband. You may want to curtail you communications with this woman while she is pregnant based on her reaction to your last discussion.
Answered on Sep 20th, 2013 at 4:37 PM
If you have not mistreated the child or have a background that could be detrimental to the child then the court is not going to order you to stay away from the child. You may consult a family law attorney to review all of the facts and advise you.
Answered on Sep 20th, 2013 at 4:37 PM