QUESTION
Can my ex dictate whether the kids can be around my fiancee?
Asked on Dec 20th, 2011 on Child Custody - Arizona
More details to this question:
He refuses to let our children around my fiancee, who he's never met and refuses to. I've honored his wishes for 6 months now and I feel it's getting ridiculous. Can he do this? If so on what grounds?
17 ANSWERS
Steven D. Dunnings
File a complaint with the friend of the court.
Answered on Jul 02nd, 2013 at 10:46 PM
Family Law Issues Attorney serving Camarillo, CA
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Laurie Peters & Associates, APLC
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No.
Answered on May 30th, 2013 at 10:39 PM
Family Law Attorney serving McDonough, GA
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South Atlanta Family Law
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He cannot dictate who you allow your children to be around, unless it is something you agreed to in the divorce documents.
Answered on Dec 27th, 2011 at 2:04 PM
Diane Marilyn Sternlieb
No he cannot! Unless your divorce agreement says no overnight of opposite sex if not married. But even with this morality clause this does not prevent kids from spending time with fiance.
Answered on Dec 27th, 2011 at 12:13 PM
Alimony Attorney serving Walnut Creek, CA
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Walnut Creek Family Law Center, Inc.
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Unless your fianc has a history of substance abuse or child abuse, he has no right to dictate who you can have around the children. It he interferes, file an order to show cause or, if appropriate, a contempt proceeding. When its your time, its your time. If he wont give you the children and you have a court order, call the police and make a report and ask for their assistance. If you dont have a court order, get one.
Answered on Dec 22nd, 2011 at 2:18 PM
No, not unless he has sole custody of the children and deems your fiancée as a threat to the children or someone who will cause them harm.
Answered on Dec 22nd, 2011 at 2:17 PM
The standard for everything with children regarding custody and parenting time is the best interests of the children. Generally, the courts do not order that a significant other not be around the children, unless that significant other has some kind of history of criminal convictions, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, or violence towards children. If your current custody order is silent as to third parties being around the children, then your ex-husband has no right to refuse you your parenting time because of your fiance's presence. If he does not want your fiance around, he would need to petition the court to modify the current order. However, please keep in mind that I know nothing about your fiance and assume that you would use reasonable and sound judgment about who to bring around your children. If your fiance has a criminal, violent or substance abuse issue or past please take that into consideration.
Answered on Dec 22nd, 2011 at 12:20 PM
Divorce Attorney serving Little Rock, AR
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Law Office of Kathryn L. Hudson
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The only way he can restrict who your children are around during your visitation is with a court order. It sounds as if he is merely jealous and is using your children as a weapon. If you have court ordered visitation tell him you are coming to get the kids and if he denies you have the local police escort you to his home with your court order in hand.
Answered on Dec 22nd, 2011 at 12:18 PM
Cohabitation Agreements Attorney serving Cincinnati, OH
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Cathy R. Cook, Attorney at Law
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If your divorce is over, and there is no language in your decree prohibiting you introducing the kids to another man, then, no he cannot do so. If you are not yet divorced, it is a good idea to not introduce the children to another man. Your ex could seek a court order for this. He would need to show that your fianc is a bad influence upon or potential danger to the children.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 10:14 PM
Probate Law Attorney serving Colorado Springs, CO
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John E. Kirchner
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The starting point for an answer to your question is any court order that establishes what the father's parental rights are. Since you don't indicate whether your "ex- " is an ex-husband or simply an ex-boyfriend who has never been legally determined (by a court) to be the father, it isn't obvious that he has any rights to do or say anything. If there is no court order defining any paternal rights, it isn't clear how he is even in a position to "refuse" to allow you to do anything.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 8:14 PM
Civil Attorney serving Spokane, WA
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Glenn E. Tanner, Attorney at Law
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Not without your acquiescence or a court order.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 7:44 PM
Divorce & Separation Attorney serving Menasha, WI
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Petit & Dommershausen, S.C.
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If there is not a court order to the contrary, he has no say.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 7:39 PM
He can only dictate that kind of conduct if your fiancee has some kind of problem: drug, alcohol, sex, etc. If he won't cooperate file a motion for mediation of the issue with the family law court.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 7:29 PM
Glen Edward Ashman
If your custody papers say he can do he can. Otherwise he can't.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 7:15 PM
Mediation Attorney serving Bloomfield, NJ
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Cassandra T. Savoy, PC
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Usually, the answer is no. Once a relationship is over, the parties are expected to move on. If your new friend uses drugs, is a sex offender, or does something else that would not be good for the children, then the courts will limit visitation. File an action with the court to have designated parenting time.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 7:12 PM
Litigation Attorney serving Indianapolis, IN
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Bowen Law, LLC
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The short answer is: most likely not. Unless there is a court order indicating the children cannot be around your fiance', your ex has no say so in the matter. Now, with that being said, keep in mind that under certain circumstances it may not be a good idea to have him around the children. Is he overbearing or inappropriate? Make sure you monitor the interaction he has with the children and make sure it is appropriate and they are safe. The last thing you want is for something to happen that jeopardizes your custody of the children. At the end of the day, unless a court says otherwise, your ex has no say so in what you do when your children are with you (within reason!).
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 7:00 PM
Unless there is a court order preventing your children from being around your fiance (or a reason it would not be in your kids' best interests to be around him), then your ex has no authority to prevent the contact. I would just encourage you to use good judgment in terms of making sure the kids are well-adjusted and prepared to meet your fiance.
Answered on Dec 21st, 2011 at 6:57 PM