Can my ex husband and i file for divorce together?

One of you has to be the Plaintiff in the Divorce, and the other has to be the Defendant, so No, you cannot file together.   One of you would need to file the complaint, and then serve the other party.  Then there are additional steps that you would have to take to finish the divorce to include a court appearance.  You can look up North Carolina General Statutes, Chapter 50 and the local rules for your county to learn the steps you would need to take to do this on your own.  An attorney can make this process go alot smoother for you and can sometimes eliminate the requirement for you to appear in court altogether.  Please locate a local divorce attorney to schedule a free initial consultation to discuss the process more thoroughly.  You will receive much more information from an initial consultation, and afterward you can decide whether to retain the attorney or file on your own.  There is no obligation to hire the attorney after the consultation.