The simple answer to your question is "no" because paternity doesn't control who the child lives with anyway. If the child was born while the parties were married, the husband is presumed to be the father. His name can only be on the birth certificate because he agreed to that, so the presumption of paternity is even stronger. Unless there is a court order, the father does not have to comply with a request for paternity testing. If your husband has an "ex-wife" there must have been a divorce case and that case should have decided all issues relating to the child, including, the paternity question. If that divorce case was dealt with properly, it should be too late for either side to bring it up now. However, it seems clear that the child is your husband's daughter, living with her mother, and that you are only a step-mother, only your husband is paying child support, and the child is not "ours" . While there may be a strong emotional connection, you need to recognize the limited "legal" status that you have and that it is only your husband's parental rights that are being threatened. Unless and until the mother actually does something in the divorce case to change the current parenting plan or to belatedly raise the paternity issue, her threats should not be a concern. But, if you (rather than your husband) are the one dealing with the mother on these issues, you need to recognize how she probably resents you implying that you have any "legal" rights by referring to the child as your daughter and that could be the reason she wants to try to exclude your husband completely. F
Answered on Sep 13th, 2011 at 6:36 AM