Can the mother legally ignore my requests for information about the unborn child?

Question

A women I am no longer in a relationship with is carrying my child. Since conception, she has married another man and now refuses to talk to me about the unborn child and his/her welfare.  I've asked her questions repeatedly about the child for the past few months and all calls, emails, text, etc, are being ignored. Recently her newlywed husband has contacted me and said that if I don't stop trying to get her to talk to me they are going to get a restraining order against me for harassment. Can the mother legally ignore my requests for information about the unborn child? Can asking questions about the welfare of your unborn child grounds be considered harassment and grounds for a restraining order?

Mark T. Peters · Answer

Until it is legally determined that you are the father, yes she can ignore you.  If you really want to be part of the child's life, you must file a paternity action and ask for a DNA test.  Of course, if you are proved to be the father, you will probably be obligated to pay child support, but you will also be entitled to custody/visitation time.  You should really talk with an attorney to determine the best way to proceed.

Annette Sandoval · Answer

My suggestion is to register with the Putative Father's Registry through the Arizona Department of Health Services.  A link to information is here:  http://www.azdhs.gov/vital-records/documents/correction-paternity-claim.pdf.  My suggestion is also to consider filing a Petition to Establish Paternity, Custody, Parenting Time and Child Support pertaining to the child.  Once DNA testing is done to confirm the child is yours, then you are the legal father and you can protect your rights.  You should consult an attorney to address additional questions.

Richard Jacobson · Answer

At present you really don't have much in the way of legal rights as to the unborn child.  Since she is married, the 'presumption' is that her husband is the father.  You can overcome that presumption by starting a paternity action seeking to have yourself declared the father of the child.  This would lead to your having rights of placement with the child, and the obligation to pay child support and, very likely. her lying-in expenses.  But you still might not get information about what is going on in her body.  That is very likely to be determined to be private.  And any third-party would have the suspicion that you are seeking the information more to exercise control than to learn what you need to know.  Since, fundamentally, what you would need to know is whether the pregnancy is proceeding normally and the unborn child and mother are doing well.  She might be willing to give you a one or two-word answer, which is probably all you need.  Good luck.

Eric Lumberg · Answer

You can file a petition for paternity and custody and get information through court orders obtained in that case.  Consult with an attorney to make sure your rights are protected and that you get the outcome desired.

Erin Farley · Answer

I highly advise you to consult with an attorney about this situation. You will need to act and act quickly so that your parental rights are enforced.

Joanna Mitchell · Answer

You need to consult with an attorney. You will probably need to file a paternity action. However, her getting married could be a potential issue, as the child will be born during the marriage. As stated, you need to consult with an attorney.

Tajara Dommershausen · Answer

Yes, she can ignore your requests.  Yes, if she told you to stop calling you must do so or they can file something.  However, it is your right to bring a paternity action and ask that you be adjudicated the father of the child.

John Kirchner · Answer

Obviously you do not yet have any proof that you are the father of an unborn child.  Before a judicial declaration that you are the father can occur it will be necessary to obtain DNA/Paternity testing after the child is born.  In Colorado you are permitted to file a paternity case before the child is born and in that case you can probably get the judge to order the mother to keep you and the court informed about the pregnancy and the birth when it occurs. Once paternity is established, the court can allocate parental responsibilities in the best interests of the child.  That allocation can include appropriate parenting time with the child.  Until there is a court order, the mother is free to do whatever she chooses.

Robert Jensen 'Bob' Matlock · Answer

If you file a voluntary paternity suit, the judge has authority to sort out all issues of contact, child support, etc.  I suggest you hire a lawyer.

Laurie Peters · Answer

Unfortunately, unless and until you have been legally found to be the father of the child there is not much you can do. You should call an attorney to determine whether or not you want to file a Petition to establish parental relationship with the child.

Stanley Stephen Spring · Answer

I would you retain counsel to handle that. You don't want to be in court answering application for TRO when you can accomplish what you want if you use a lawyer.

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Can the mother legally ignore my requests for information about the unborn child?

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