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I am currently 8 months pregnant with a baby girl. My ex boyfriend is trying to gain custody of her, but there are many questions I had. 1. Am I able to move without his consent? I would not be moving out of the state. 2. How will it work regarding religion? What is we want different godparents or a different church? 3. Would I have to give him visitation right whenever he wants to see her or do we have to have a schedule? 4. Both of us work so how who would pay for child care? He wants his mother to take care of the baby, but she already takes care of three other kids and I don't feel comfortable leaving my baby with her. Thank you for your time.
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I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Being pregnant is stressful enough without all of this worry added to your plate! I will do my best to answer your questions and I hope that it helps relieve your concerns:
1) Yes you can move, and in fact it will be much easier for you to do so now than it will be after you give birth and there is a custody action filed.
2) Assuming your boyfriend is a reasonably fit parent, he will most likely be granted joint legal and physical custody of the baby and some type of visitation. It is very unlikely that he will have overnight visitation while the baby is still an infant. If you are breastfeeding the baby the court will also support your ability to do so. His visitation/parenting-time will increase as the baby gets older and is more able to spend time away from you.
3) Child care costs will be shared jointly. You can object to his mother caring for the baby for the reasons you have identified. Courts will typically allow each parent to make decisions regarding child care while the child is in his/her household. So while the baby is primarily in your care, you will have a fair amount of control over making this decision and he will still have to share in the expense.
4) You do not have to let him see the baby whenever he wants. You will reach an agreement either out of court (hopefully) or in court regarding what his visitation schedule will look like. I would strongly recommend that you suggest to him that you both sit down with a mediator to figure out a developmentally appropriate visitation plan that takes into account the infant's need for stability and continuity of care as well as his/her need to bond with both parents. The mediator may be a family law attorney or a therapist. Leaving these decisions up to the courts is not the best situation and can leave you both feeling out of control and hurt. You will each want to denigrate the other parent to gain advantage which is the absolute worst way to start off your co-parenting relationship. Best of luck to you!
Answered on Sep 14th, 2015 at 1:07 PM