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I have shared custody and court order for visits 2x/month, and some holidays, and my daughter was supposed to get a counselor because of my "unique family situation"...I'm Transgendered. In the past 2 years, I have rarely seen my daughter, some of which is documented. I've worked with her on holidays, and have agreed to 1x/month for most months bc she's a teen and wants to spend time with friends. My ex finds reasons for her not to visit, and I've seen her once in the past 6 mos. My ex also will not talk to me about visitatinos, she has my daughter talk to me about everything. In addition, my ex will not cooperate in finding a counselor. I found several here (Im in Indiana, she's in IL), but my daughter was coming so seldom, I couldn't hang on to them. I found one in IL, but she will not encourage my daughter to go. She said visitation and a counselor was a suggestion. My daughter now sees a relative, but won't tell me who. I know they are one of my pastor relatives.
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Hello, Anonymous.
If you have a court order, then both parties are bound to comply with the court order until a Judge issue a new order with new responsibilities for the parties. So if you are supposed to be seeing your daughter twice per month, then it is not up to your ex to overrule that (absent some clause in the JPA that allows the ex to make such a decision). If your ex is violating the agreement and court order by not allowing visitation, then it falls to you to attempt to enforce it with a court action. This would bring the issue back before the Judge and require your ex to explain to the Judge why she is not complying.
As for the counselor, this is another issue that the Judge would probably like to hear. I'm assuming that the JPA explicitly states that a counselor will be found and retained; the language in the JPA should be clear on this point that it is required and that it is not merely a suggestion or a possibility. If there is language that explicitly orders you and your ex to find a counselor, it will require, at a minimum, that you both make a good-faith effort to do so. If your ex has indeed been dragging her feet on this issue, then the Judge may also like to hear the reasons for this.
Since you're in Indiana, it may best and easiest for you to hire an Illinois attorney (assuming that the original case is from Illinois and Illinois retains jurisdiction) to help you handle this. This would not only make it more convenient for you, but would also help get the issues worked out on your behalf.
I hope this helps.
Answered on Jun 23rd, 2015 at 3:53 PM