QUESTION
Could he get custody of my daughter without me knowing if he left state or something?
Asked on Jul 02nd, 2015 on Child Custody - Oklahoma
More details to this question:
I am a single mom. I have a 9 month old. I am never married. Her father and his name is not listed on the birth certificate. He has been abusive in the past and has recently been threatening to take my daughter and move back as well as gain sole custody without my knowledge and take her that way. He says he automatically has rights to his child and he has stated that he can do whatever he wants to her and me since I have had her. I want the threats to end. It’s terrifying because he shows up once every few months and leaves me with that on my mind. I am actually looking to get a restraining or protective order on him for kicking in my door in front of witnesses. He hasn’t been active in her life and on multiple occasions said he wants nothing to do with her. I don’t receive any public assistance, child support or anything. I truly want to cut ties and be free to raise my daughter in a loving healthy safe environment. He can't keep a job, hasn't had a stable place to live in many years just been staying with family and using their addresses, can’t keep a license, does drugs and just not a good guy. Do I need to seek legal and get custody of my daughter to get away from this or are these just empty threats? What should I do in this situation? I am scared for my child. Please assist.
1 ANSWER
You indicate he is not on the birth certificate. You do not indicate that any formal declaration of paternity exists. He is not legally the father until paternity is established. You may believe him the father, and he may believe him the father, but neither of you are doing squat about having him legally declared the father. Until he is, you do not have to permit him visitation, unless you choose to. Given that he has threatened to run off with the child, has no stable home, is believed by you to be using drugs, and is allegedly abusive, it is an absolute mystery why your child would ever be with him and you not present. Could he waltz away with the child and go establish paternity and ask you be declared unfit or allege you have abandoned your child. Yes, he could do that if he is actually the father and will step up to document that role. You would need to be given notice, but if he lies and says your whereabouts are unknown and he can not reach you, he might possibly get that by a court. So, what to do, what to do. For starts, get counsel, establish paternity in court and seek support from him. Seek sole custody,with only supervised visitation for him, based on past abuse, threats to take the child and flee, lack of stable home, lack of a valid license, insist on drug testing based on allegations of use, and be prepared to submit to testing yourself or supply a clean recent test up front. If he ants in her life, he can likely get in her life. If you do nothing, he may come in under his narrative and gain far more rights than might seem appropriate based on your statements. So, go secure counsel (see Legal Aid if you can not find counsel you can afford) but secure counsel and make things official and make him live up to his existing circumstances here, where they can more easily be verified.. . May attorneys do provide initial consultations at no charge, so you need to find one of us who does. Contrary to some opinions, many attorneys also work payments plans with their clients.
Answered on Jul 07th, 2015 at 9:17 AM