QUESTION
Given his absence and lack of interest in the baby, what are the chances he will be given any custody?
Asked on Aug 20th, 2013 on Family Law - California
More details to this question:
I am afraid to seek child support because I do not want my ex boyfriend to seek joint custody of our child. He was opposed to my pregnancy, he was absent during my pregnancy. He never called me to ask if I needed anything or baby needed anything during or after my pregnancy. I made all efforts to update him about the status of our fetus, I flew to Hawaii (where he resides) so he could see the 12 week ultrasound, and when she was born, I told him I would Skype the baby with him every night. He has not paid one single cent (no exaggeration) towards her pre-natal, delivery, post birth needs. Not one single dime for diapers, insurance, co-pays, hospital bills and he is a single male making well over $100K a year. He had a flight for her baptism and never showed up. He has not once called me on the status of our child since after he left her birth because he is mad at me because I have feelings for another man. I live in California and do not want my baby away from me for weeks at a time to visit him alone. I am afraid if I seek child support, he will want custody to bring down the monthly amount he owes me. I am okay with visitation. In fact, I have tried to facilitate a relationship between him and the baby. But his ego and selfishness has gotten in the way. I don't think he has shown himself to be a good, caring parent.
3 ANSWERS
Criminal Law Attorney serving Fremont, CA
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Steven J. Alpers, A Professional Corporation
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He would get some visitation if he makes an attempt, however he would only start with supervised visits of a few hours which could be expanded over time. If he does not even start with limited visits, the court will not give him any more rights to visit. I think he will lose interest in visits if he has to fly to CA for a couple hours of time.
Answered on Aug 23rd, 2013 at 8:57 AM
Family Law Attorney serving Walnut Creek, CA
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Law Office of Jon Rathjen
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The key question here is what you really want in terms of your child having a relationship with her father. The longer he waits to assert his rights and step up to his financial obligations the more likely he will be denied extensive custody or even visitation, and could eventually lead to a termination of his parental rights on the grounds of abandonment. But it also true that the sooner you confront him with those responsibilities, the more likely he will step up to those responsibilities and establish a good bond with your daughter. Of course if you are right in your opinion as to his character you might be better off in allowing him to forfeit a relationship with your daughter, but I would err on the side of caution.
Answered on Aug 22nd, 2013 at 10:59 AM
Divorce/Family Law Attorney serving Carlsbad, CA
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Anne B. Howard, A Professional Law Corporation
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Even if you do not go for support he could decide he wants visitation with her especially as she gets older and is easier with no diapers etc. it is unfair that your child does not have the benefit of support As he is in Hawaii visitation would be difficult until she's older. At some point your child will be asking about her father and studies show it is important for children to have both parents in their lives. So open a case with Child Support Services and let them go after him for support.
Answered on Aug 22nd, 2013 at 9:55 AM