How can I dismiss ex-parte order on abuse for mutual restraining order or keep ex-parte and follow through with it?

My wife decided to split ways with me and I asked if we could do the divorce amicably and live together with our two children until it is done. She found it necessary to constantly abusive me mentally and physically. I eventually filed an ex-parte because towards the end her behavior was spilling over onto the kids and I had enough, screaming and what not. Only one child of two is biological. She is now residing elsewhere, I assume her moms. After the ex-parte I had my son for 2 days and then I have him to her asking to get him back in 2 days which was equal. Well she is now denying him access to me and that is not right. Her attorney is asking for my attorney and I to dismiss the ex-parte and go into mutual restraining orders. Well the abuse really did happen and I was told if I do not dismiss that I will look bad in front of the judge. Also, I have no idea when he will see me again and he loves me. Her attorney is also demanding the least amount of custody available. I think 50/50 is best but the other side is not willing to comply. He needs his father in his life and the abuse I have went through does need addressing. Please help anyone!!!