how can I get a divorce

To file for divorce in Virginia first you must have grounds for divorce.  The most common grounds are the no-fault grounds of living separate and apart for at least one year (or six month if you have no minor children together and enter into a written property settlement agreement).   Otherwise you must prove fault, such as adultery, cruelty, or desertion. Once you have grounds, you can file a Complaint for divorce.  Your spouse either has to be served with legal notice of the divorce or they can sign a Waiver of notice.  Once your spouse has answered or waived then you can proceed to a final hearing, which can be done in court or by deposition or affidavit.  You must prepare and submit a Final Order to the court for approval and entry.  Once the judge signs this you are divorced.  Because it is easy to make errors at any step along this process, I highly recommend you seek an attorney to help you with any divorce, even a seemingly simple uncontested one.  I am often hired by people who have tried to handle their own divorce and it always takes me more time to correct what they have messed up than it would to do it for them from the beginning. This answer is given in accordance with the laws of Virginia and may not be applicable in any other state.  It should not be construed as legal advice, as that would require a more thorough analysis of all of the facts involved in a specific case.  If you need further information or assistance, please feel free to contact my office for a consultation. Case results depend upon a variety of factors unique to each case. Case results do not guarantee or predict a similar result in any future case.