How can I obtain a divorce from a same sex marriage, I reside in VA, but my estranged wife is from Connecticut but she is now also in VA.

You are in a legally tricky situation.  At least one of the parties must have residency in the state in which you file for divorce.  At this time it sounds like that would be Virginia for both of you.  Unfortunately, Virginia does not recognize your marriage as valid.  In fact, your marriage is considered null and void under Virginia law.  Virginia Code section 20-45.2 states: "A marriage between persons of the same sex is prohibited. Any marriage entered into by persons of the same sex in another state or jurisdiction shall be void in all respects in Virginia and any contractual rights created by such marriage shall be void and unenforceable." If you have joint property that needed to be divided, we could do that in Virginia in accordance with the laws that govern unmarried persons.  But since you say you don't have any property in common or in dispute, there would be nothing to be done in Virginia.  You would have to file for divorce in a state that recognizes your marriage, but since you don't have residency in any of those states, you would not be able to file there. This type of marriage also does not qualify for an annulment in Virginia, which is a process available for some types of void marriages.   As far as Virginia is concerned, you are already unmarried single people and there is nothing further under the law you need to or can do. I question the constitutionality of the Virginia statute and it may be worth challenging, but it would be a long battle and probably futile in the current political climate in the Commonwealth of Virginia. This answer is given in accordance with the laws of Virginia and may not be applicable in any other state.  It should not be construed as legal advice, as that would require a more thorough analysis of all of the facts involved in a specific case.