More details to this question:
I am currently in a relationship that is going nowhere because of hate my husband has for me. Ten years ago I committed adultery and last September so did he. He continues to see the girl all the time and I can't take it anymore. He said who knows maybe one day he will realize he screwed up and want to work on us. Well it's been a year and a half and I can't do it anymore. I want out. We have a home that we both own and a few classic cars, a savings account and two daily driver vehicles. Where do I begin? I want him to see what is going to happen and what he is going to lose because of all of this. I want to be able to show him a piece of paper outlining what will no longer be both of ours and that it will all need to be split. He also has a pension he will receive and I have a 401k. I am 38 and he is 40. We both make about the same amount of money. We have 3 years left on our mortgage and our house is worth about 190k. What do I need to do to get the ball rolling and to get my life back? How much does it cost step by step? Thank you.
9 ANSWERS
You could start with a legal separation and if he, or you, want to later convert it to a divorce (or dismiss it), it is a simple change. Separation papers have same procedures and such for the most part, as divorce papers.
Answered on Dec 06th, 2011 at 5:45 PM
Divorce Attorney serving Little Rock, AR
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Law Office of Kathryn L. Hudson
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The sooner you seek legal counsel the better your outcome will likely be. I would not discuss your intentions ahead of filing for divorce, you will want to gather account numbers of bank accounts, retirement accounts, and an inventory of all your assets to take to your attorney. The process is fairly straight forward; the initial filing is general in terms and that is served on your spouse. He will then have 30 days to respond after which you may want to do more "discovery" to determine exactly what your marital assets are. If he hires an attorney the two attorneys will hopefully work together considering the best interests and desires of both parties to craft a settlement agreement you both can agree to. Once that is accomplished a final hearing is set which is very short, the judge then enters the decree and grants your divorce.
Answered on Dec 06th, 2011 at 3:22 PM
Civil Attorney serving Spokane, WA
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Glenn E. Tanner, Attorney at Law
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You file a petition for dissolution. It would cost around $280.
Answered on Dec 06th, 2011 at 12:45 AM
Criminal Law Attorney serving Ellicott City, MD
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Law Office of William C. Wood, LLC
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In general, you would file a divorce complaint in the Circuit Court for the County in which you live. Your husband would subsequently be served with the complaint and would have an opportunity to file an answer. Regarding cost, that is very difficult to predict and depends largely on what your husband's reaction would be. If you can work together and resolve the issues then the cost would likely be fairly moderate. However, if the case is contested, requiring multiple court appearances the cost could very high.
Answered on Dec 05th, 2011 at 10:32 PM
The procedure in Washington is to file a summons and petition for dissolution with the clerk of the superior court in the county where you reside. He will need to be served with the documents and the action then proceeds towards trial or settlement. The steps will be different in each county, e.g. in King County you are assigned a trial date (approximately 11 months away) at the time of filing while in other counties you have to request a trial date. At the time of filing, a party may want to have temporary relief until the time of trial or settlement, e.g. temporary use of the residence, temporary child support, attorney fees, restraining orders to prevent the disposition of assets, etc. The above will get you started to get your life back. Almost all attorneys will request a retainer to be deposited in their trust account for fees and costs. The amount will depend on what you want to have done and what might be the reaction of your spouse.
Answered on Dec 05th, 2011 at 5:31 PM
Business/ Commercial Attorney serving Seattle, WA
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Wolfstone, Panchot & Bloch, P.S., Inc.
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If you first want to present you husband with a comprehensive proposal for division of all assets/liabilities so he can "see what he is going to lose": you should contact an experienced family law attorney to prepare a Joint Petition for Dissolution that details your property division. If your husband approves the Joint Petition, he can sign it and the Joint Petition can be filed. (The Divorce then become an "uncontested: divorce and can be finalized 90 days thereafter.). If he does not sign it, you can file a Petition on your own - but the process for obtaining his agreement or having a trial if necessary becomes more expensive and can be explained to you by the attorney. The cost for preparing the Joint Petition for Dissolution through an attorney will probably be in the $500 to $1000 range if you provide all necessary detail re all assets/liabilities.
Answered on Dec 05th, 2011 at 4:27 PM
My first recommendation based on what you have listed is that you need to gather all of your debts and assets together so that when you file, you know what you are looking at dividing. You will need to consider what you want to do with your debts and how they may be divided and how your assets will be divided. This will include the pension and the 401k, the classic cars and their values, as well as other items of worth that you own. Your question does not mention any children you have. This will also be something to consider in the process if you have any children together and what you would like to do as far as custody and visitation. After that, you should consider that it is best to hire an attorney. With the details you provided, the costs could range severely and only a competent attorney could provide their rates to you and the filing fee costs associated to your specific case. A competent attorney should be able to help you get the ball rolling sooner rather than later.
Answered on Dec 05th, 2011 at 4:27 PM
Juvenile Criminal Law Attorney serving Towson, MD
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Law Office of Michael G. DeHaven, P.A.
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The questions of "how do I begin" a divorce and "what do I need to get the ball rolling" can't be competently answered based upon the limited facts that you presented. There are a number of facts that are missing, such as: are there any children?; how long have you been married?; what do each of you do for a living?; is there a basis for alimony? etc., etc. What you can do is file immediately for an absolute divorce if there is sufficient evidence of adultery. Alternatively, you could negotiate a settlement agreement, one of you move out, then file after a 1 year separation. Again, how, when and where to pursue a divorce (and get your life back) will depend upon your answers to questions posed to you by a lawyer who practices family law.
Answered on Dec 05th, 2011 at 4:19 PM
General Civil Trial Practice Attorney serving Beaverton, OR
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Vincent J. Bernabei, LLC
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You should contact a family law attorney for an initial consultation. Bring copies of the most recent statements for all investment, retirement and bank accounts, and you can estimate the value of the vehicles using Kelly Blue Book. An experienced attorney can then assist you in planning for divorce. To meet with an attorney for about 1.5 to 2 hours will be about $500.
Answered on Dec 05th, 2011 at 4:16 PM