How do I find out if my child is enrolled in college? I am paying child support, she is 20 years old and the court just takes the words of the mother

You are entitled to proof that she is in college, and if she doesn't produce the proof you are entitled to be granted a request for emancipation so that you no longer need to pay child support.  Make a request in writing, sent certified mail, that proof she is enrolled in college be provided to you.  If you do not receive an answer, file the paperwork for emancipation.  That is something you can do yourself, there are forms on line at the NJ Judiciary website.