How do I get full custody of my children if we were never married?

If you are the mother of these children and never married you are essentially presumed to have legal custody of these children. Perhaps the better question would be how you would go about terminating the father's parental rights, or in the alternative, how you might seek child support from the father. The termination of parental rights would be the easier route because you will obtain the ultimate result you seek even though you don't know how to find this gentleman who fathered your children. That is because we can serve him by publication after attempting to serve him at his last known address. Of course, it is likely that he will not discover that you have your action following publication and accordingly will most likely be found in default for failing to answer your complaint. That makes terminating his parental rights much easier because the eventual hearing before the family court will essentially be uncontested. The downside is that you will not be able to request ongoing child support in the event the father's parental rights have been terminated, but there may be a way to collect retroactive support for that period of time between his leaving your kids' lives and the date we eventually terminate his parental rights. Of course, I have only provided you with you with very general information which is not intended as legal advice. Hence, no one should rely and act upon my commentary, but instead should directly consult with a attorney of his or her choosing before taking any of the legal steps discussed.

Speak to an attorney about filing by publication, or am ex parte. You could also contact the department of child support services (DCSS) and open a case for support that would help you find him. DCSS is a state agency, so it will not cost you anything.

Custody is always based on the best interest of the child standard and many factors play in. Typically custody must be resolved by a mutual custody agreement or filing an action in court. The judge weighs all the evidence, credible witnesses and legal arguments and makes a decision. Sounds like he would have a very hard time building a good case for himself as a responsible and reliable parent and you would likewise use such evidence in your favor. But other than that, it is not really possible to guarantee or even give probabilities of how much custody each parent will get. Even with the facts you have presented, there could be a chance that he would at least get some sort of visitation rights. But it just depends. You should consult an attorney right away to assist you with that. You can also look into some of the pro-se (do-it-yourself) custody forms that many counties have and which can often be used for any county so long as you change the county name at the top, but you should still contact an attorney to review those forms and other consulting before actually filing to make sure you are on the right path, etc.