How do I go about getting a free consultaion or advice from a lawyer?

It is unlikely the attorney is making up the Rules, but it's almost certain he knows the Rules. The Tennessee Rules of Court book is several inches thick, and a new one comes out every year with changes. Plus, each Circuit has local rules, and within circuits, each judge may have their own chamber rules. The attorney knows all of those.   The people who operate this website say I am not really supposed to answer with "you need a lawyer," but it's a fact. Legal aid will help some folks, but only in some cases. Otherwise, lawyers get paid. If someone has quoted you $1500 as an initial retainer, that's a good quote to get started in a contested custody case. I understand in some circumstances fifteen hundred may as well be fifteen million, but if there's things you can sell, sell them. The reality is a good lawyer can and will devastate a person representing themselves.   It's not that the judge may not want to hear both sides, but just like you can't play basketball with a croquet mallet, there's super specific Rules of Evidence, Procecure, etc., and if you dont' follow each rule, even the best, strongest, evidence will not be considered. The Court simply may not consider evidence not properly introduced. Pro se individuals almost never manage to get their evidence into evidence, meaning it is not ever actually evidence.