QUESTION
How do I keep non-involved partied out of our child exchanges?
Asked on Nov 05th, 2014 on Child Custody - Michigan
More details to this question:
I am writing to you concerning the fact that I would prefer not having third parties that are not related to our case at pick-ups and drop offs for our daughter. The father has a girlfriend, which I don’t mind, but since she has been allowed at the house while our daughter is there on weekends his communication with me concerning our daughter at said pick up and drop offs has declined drastically because he is in such a hurry to not have both of us in the same place. Before her presence at pick up and drop offs, our communication on our daughter was excellent. We discussed her meals, her behavior during the weekend, naps, when fed last and when the next meal should be, etc. She's 16 months old, can't talk yet, so I depend on him for communication about her weekend. Everything was smooth and we got everything in order before the parent picking her up left with her. Since then, we have minimal communication on anything that has gone on with her during her weekends with him. I have asked him to not bring his girlfriend along or have her at his residence during pick-ups if we cannot continue the co-parenting pattern we were establishing, but so far has refused to respect my wishes or to change the behavior. I don’t have a problem with her being there on the weekends and I am not asking for anything of the sort of not having her there while my daughter is at his residence as that is just an unfair and non-realistic expectation as we both move on in our lives. I will follow the same rule and also not have non-involved parties with me at any pick up or drop offs, the rule should be the same for both of us. But since neither of us are married, I feel that there is no need for a girlfriend or boyfriend at the exchange of our daughter if the communication is going to stay at this non-evolving place we are in. Would this be an easy order to get or modification?
1 ANSWER
Unfortunately, I do not believe that this is something that you could accomplish through the courts. For a litany of reasons, this is something that often comes up as individuals seek to move on from past relationships where children were involved. What I often recommend to clients whose only interactions with a co-parent begin to decline overtime and are based almost exclusively on quick conversations at pick-ups is to write and deliver and physical letter to the other parent when the drop off occurs relating to what has happened in the meantime. I recommend a physical letter because with emails or texts, there is sometimes concerns from the new boyfriends/girlfriends about the free line of communication between ex's. The physical letter can be read by both the parent and the significant other and nothing remains hidden.
Answered on Nov 06th, 2014 at 4:01 PM