How is the date of disolution of a marriage determined?

I have seen your question.  My name is David Salvaggio.  I head a law firm that devotes its practice exclusively to New Jersey Divorce and Family Law matters.  It's all we do. Please feel free to take a look at our Firm Website (www.salvaggiolaw.net), which contains a lot of helpful information.  The date of the "dissolution" of a marriage is always the date when a Judgment of Divorce is entered.  However, I thnk that what you are really asking is: "What is the cutoff date for equitable distribution?  In other words, do we look at what assets and debts we had as of the separaton date, or what assets and debts we have now (because that is usually idfferent)?  Given what you have said, in your situation the answer should be WHAT YOU HAVE NOW, since you have been "acting" as though you have been marrried for the past 3 years, by not separating any of the assets, debts, income, etc.   You are not legally required to have a lawyer represent you in a divorce, although it is always better to have one. At the very least, I believe that you should meet as soon as possible with a very experienced lawyer who devotes his/her practice to New Jersey Divorce and Family Law matters, go over your situation in detail with the attorney, get educated answers to your questions, and obtain expert guidance as to the best course of action. In my opinion, it will be well worth the cost of the meeting. Your question does not specify the town in which you live.  My firm's offices are located in Morristown, NJ (Morris County).  If your location is such that you would consider having our firm help you, I am willing to have a brief personal phone call with you (at no charge).  You can call our offices at any time of the day or night.  Our telephone number is 973-455-1220. Please leave a voice mail message if I am not available to speak with you when you call.